Pride hurts more than anything else

Wow. My first blog entry...the blank space is entirely overwhelming. Perhaps if I were a bit more conversational it would be easier to begin...

I am beginning this blog in the middle of being totally nervous, disheartened and discouraged that I can barely survive the distance of a half marathon with a full one looming. The long runs are kicking my butt. And they are not even that long, which is another reason why I am feeling less than confident. I mean I can understand it if they are kicking my butt and I am running 18-22 miles, but I am still at 13.1 miles and my tail is whooped. To put it bluntly, my last two long runs have sucked...and sucked big time. Two weeks ago I did 13 miles and had my first run in with chafing (ugh!) and my leg, specifically where my stress fracture was located, was extremely noticeable in that paranoia-inducing pain type way. This past Sunday, I only did 12 miles and the last mile was miserable, but there was no pain in my tibia this time, only some lovely vomit and dry heaving (aren't you glad you get to read this?).

What is up? Have I psyched myself out? Am I really that big of a puss? Or am I right to be worried? I missed three months of base building due to the stress fracture and was only back running for three weeks prior to beginning the training, and minus the last 4 days have taken ibuprofen at least twice a day since September. Horrible, I know, but sometimes...

My mom and I were talking in the car on the way to the airport after the run and she suggested dropping back to the half marathon and waiting to run a full in Fall when I was stronger and had more of a base. It's funny because it wasn't until the words escaped her lips did it even occured to me that dropping to the half was a possibility. I've run two half marathons at this point and know that I can at least finish those in one piece. Personality-wise, I am not down with the whole "quitting thing" but at the same time would like to continue to enjoy running and would like to run a strong and happy first marathon not an ‘I crawled on my belly to the finish' marathon.